Back in 2020, Joanna was jubilant.
She’d recently met an engineer via an online dating site, who claimed he was working on an oil rig in the North Sea. Things moved fast. The man appeared sincere, and Joanna began imagining a future with him.
Then he started asking for money. Keen to help, she sent him a series of wire transfers. But each time he received the funds, another emergency would arise — equipment failures, unpaid fees, issues with customs, stolen items, and so on. When Joanna finally put an end to the transfers, he stopped replying to her messages. She never heard from him again.
Distraught, Joanna began digging, only to find that the man she’d met online did not, in fact, exist. By the time she realised what had happened, she had sent her fake suitor over $60,000.
Joanna's case is a classic example of a romance scam, a type of social engineering that uses seduction as a means of defrauding unsuspecting victims. As technical safeguards in banking and payments have improved, social engineering has emerged as a prominent way for criminals to target potential victims. But what can people do to protect themselves from this type of fraud? And what actions can banks take to safeguard their customers?
In this article, we’ll explore what romance scams are, how to spot them, and what financial institutions can do to keep their customers safe.
What is a romance scam?
A romance scam is a type of online fraud that simulates a romantic relationship to exploit someone, usually for financial gain. While romance scams primarily aim to steal money from individuals, the funds obtained may be used for money laundering or other illicit activities, such as drug smuggling or even human trafficking.
Typically, the scammer poses as a potential partner on dating websites, social media platforms, or messaging apps. Having established a rapport with a victim, they attempt to build trust and express affection. Once they’re confident the emotional bond is strong, the scammer begins asking for money. The requests are generally urgent and tend to fall into predictable categories: travel expenses or equipment, family emergencies, or medical bills.
In our increasingly digital lives, romance scams are becoming a dangerous, potentially devastating form of crime. In the US alone, the Federal Trade Commission reported losses to romance scams to be $1.14 billion in 2024 — making them more costly than any other form of imposter scam.
And it's not just women who are susceptible. In fact, the majority of victims are male. But financially speaking, women typically lose 2.5 times more than men. And, while it's often older people who are targeted, a growing number of younger people are falling victim, too.
Romance scams vs. catfishing
Another term that’s often used interchangeably with romance scams is catfishing. But there’s a key distinction:
Catfishing refers to the act of creating a fake identity for the purpose of deception. It can sometimes lead to romance scams, but the main characteristic is building online relationships with a false identity.
Romance scams are specifically used to steal money or manipulate a victim into committing a crime.
How romance scams work
Romance scams are usually instigated through fake profiles on dating apps, social media platforms, or messaging apps. Criminals will reach out to their victims and attempt to seduce them through flattery and emotional manipulation before creating a story to con them into transferring money.
As we saw with Joanna’s case above, romance scams usually follow a predictable pattern, which typically involves the following:
Initial contact: Scammers reach out to their victims through online dating or social media platforms. Some will do extensive research before attempting to forge a connection.
Building trust: Next, scammers will spend time developing a rapport and, eventually, a relationship with their victim. Typically, they will be especially complementary or overzealous with their affection (this tactic is known as “love bombing”).
Feigning urgency: A fake crisis is eventually introduced to engender sympathy. This could take the shape of an ailing mother, a medical emergency, legal trouble, or something equally pressing.
Requesting money: Finally, scammers will use emotional appeals to request funds from their victims. In some cases, they can secure massive amounts of money before anyone catches on.
To cover their tracks, criminals may ask their victims to send the funds through alternative streams like gift cards or cryptocurrency. These methods can be more complex to track than checks or direct transfers, helping scammers obscure their operations from banks or family members.
Although humans are generally behind the scam, AI technology is increasingly being used to simulate more convincing conversations. As this technology becomes more sophisticated, romance scams may become more difficult to spot on their face.
However, there are steps people can take to protect themselves.
How to detect a romance scam
Because romance scammers often use similar strategies, they may be easier to spot if you know what to look for.
An early warning sign might be someone declaring love early in the relationship. They may make excuses to avoid video calls or in-person meetings, or relay dramatic stories filled with urgency. These behaviours are often subtle at first but escalate over time, especially once scammers sense they’ve built trust with their victims.
To avoid falling victim to a romance scammer, here are a couple of warning signs and red flags to watch out for:
Emotional manipulation techniques: Scammers are experts at emotional manipulation. They may use flattery, love bombing, and a sense of shared fate to win victims over. Eventually, if their initial requests are rebuffed, they may attempt to use guilt and gaslighting to con people into yielding to their requests.
Avoiding in-person meetings, video chats, or phone calls: Because scammers are out for money rather than love, they’ll often avoid meeting or speaking directly to their victims. Instead, they may make elaborate excuses to keep the relationship strictly online.
Asking for money: This is a major red flag — especially if you’ve never met the person. If their stories sound absurd, or if one request is followed by many more, there's a good chance it’s a scam. But even a story that seems trustworthy should raise suspicion if a request for money is involved.
Are romance scams illegal?
Romance scams typically involve offences such as fraud, identity theft, and related crimes, which are generally considered criminal offences under most legal systems. In the EU, for example, romance scams fall under various criminal categories and are treated as serious offences, especially when they involve significant financial harm or cross-border criminal activity.
A major challenge around policing, investigating, and prosecuting romance scams is that they often play out across borders. But, even if the scammer is based overseas, victims are encouraged to report the crime to local authorities or national fraud reporting centres. Law enforcement agencies like the FBI, Interpol, Europol, and national cybercrime units actively pursue such cases.
And, while recovering lost funds can be difficult, reporting often helps authorities track patterns and dismantle criminal networks.
How banks can detect and intervene in romance scams
Because victims often transfer funds through their personal accounts, banks are in a unique position to spot suspicious patterns and intervene. For example, by combining technology with human oversight and clear communication, banks can not only keep clients informed but also help to detect romance scams as they happen.
Here are some ways banks can help detect and intervene in romance scams:
Transaction monitoring: AI-powered transaction monitoring systems can flag unusual transfers, especially to high-risk territories. They may also be able to detect patterns that align with known scam behaviors, such as repeated wire transfers to an unknown individual.
Customer alerts and in-app warnings: Real-time warnings in online banking portals and payment flows can nudge customers to think twice before sending money to a stranger.
Extra scrutiny for flagged transactions: Temporary holds or additional verification requirements can give victims time to seek advice before a flagged transaction is approved. This also gives banks the opportunity to assess whether the recipient is legitimate.
Public education campaigns: Running awareness campaigns via email, websites, and in-branch materials can help educate customers about romance scams.
Collaborating with law enforcement: Sharing fraud patterns and reports with national Financial Intelligence Units (FIUs) and police can help in efforts to track and prosecute scammers.
Tips for safe online dating
Staying safe while dating online requires a mix of common sense, vigilance, and healthy skepticism. Here are some best practices:
Take it slow: Scammers often rush the relationship. Be wary of someone who asks for a serious commitment quickly.
Do your research: A reverse image search of profile photos is a quick and easy way to check if someone’s story is consistent across platforms. Another useful technique is reverse email look-up.
Never send money: No matter how convincing the story, avoid sending money or sharing bank details with someone you've never met in person.
Keep conversations on the platform: Scammers often push to switch to WhatsApp or email quickly to avoid detection.
Talk to friends or family: If something feels off, ask someone you trust for their perspective.
Be cautious with personal information: Never share sensitive personal information such as your address, workplace, or financial details with someone you recently met online.
Report suspicious behaviour: Most dating platforms have tools to report and block suspicious users. This will help protect others, too.
Genuine relationships develop gradually and respectfully. If someone you meet online exhibits concerning behaviour, it’s wise to step back and reassess the situation. Your heart, and your wallet, will thank you.
Combat romance scams with the help of Fourthline
Staying on top of the latest fraud techniques, monitoring client behaviour, and intervening at that crucial moment can seem like a heavy lift for financial institutions. Fortunately, alongside human vigilance, advanced tools exist to identify and stop fraud before it causes harm.
Fourthline offers powerful, AI-driven solutions that help financial institutions combat romance scams and other types of financial crime. Our ID verification solution and digital proof of address checks give institutions confidence that their customers are who they claim to be, reducing the risk of fake or stolen identities entering their systems.
We combine these solutions with a suite of smart fraud detection tools, which analyse behavioural patterns and transaction data in real time to detect suspicious activity and intervene early.
Want to learn more about how Fourthline can help solve your mission-critical identity challenges? Get in touch today.
